In my bed I start to pray
And tell God all about my day

Verse 1
I woke up rested, girls slept late
A load of laundry done by eight
Had time with God
And cleared my dishes
All my cooking was delicious

Both girls took naps and followed rules
Mommy never lost her cool
Felt full of creativity
Had a great date with the hubby

Chorus
And so it's good to know
How much you love me
It's true, the Bible says you do
You really love me
Your love was with me all throughout my day

Verse 2
I woke up in my toddler's bed
Stuffed animals around my head
Dish piles rise
As does the laundry
Girls are being super naughty

No Bible time, just desperate prayers
No chance to change my underwear
My temper's short, I just can't win
It's a good night to order in!

Chorus 2
And so it's really good to know
How much you love me
It's true, the Bible says you do
You really love me
Your love was with me all throughout my day

Ending
In my bed so quietly
I rest in knowing: God loves me!

Anyhow, she has wonderful thoughts and tips and I'm just barely scratching the surface but I love this and hope it inspires you, dear fellow mommies and homemakers...

“Homemaking is an art, and you have the privilege of expressing and developing all your talents there in a little place called home. You get to build…beautify… organize…create…fuss…express yourself. You get to read and study and grow and master nutrition, finances, horticulture, design, wardrobe, etc. And you also get to shape your children, to give their precious lives a bent toward God. To nurture their souls with the good things of God. To pass on the truth about Jesus to one more generation. And to do so means you’ve got to be dedicated, organized, and a woman of purpose. And you’ve got to have the spunk and energy to follow through on all the dedication, organization, and purpose that answering God’s high calling to homemaking requires.”

–Elizabeth George, A Woman’s High Calling

My two beautiful daughters, making each other laugh. I am truly blessed.

...You also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 2:5

Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. Hebrews 13:15

Commenting on the words "acceptable to God" in 1 Peter, John Calvin says:

It ought also to add not a little to our alacrity, when we know that the worship we perform to God is pleasing to him, as doubt necessarily brings sloth with it. It is, indeed, certain that no one will seriously and from the heart devote himself to God, until he is fully persuaded that he shall not labor in vain.

But the Apostle adds, "through Jesus Christ." There is never found in our sacrifices such purity, that they are of themselves acceptable to God; our self-denial is never entire and complete, our prayers are never so sincere as they ought to be, we are never so zealous and so diligent in doing good, but that our works are imperfect, and mingled with many vices. Nevertheless, Christ procures favor for them.

What shall we say then? That Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, attained righteousness, even the righteousness which is by faith; but Israel, pursuing a law of righteousness, did not arrive at that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as though it were by works. Romans 9:30-32

Yesterday my fatigue and the dreary weather combined to make me feel pretty aimless and blah at the start of the day. My brain swam with potential ways to spend the day. I thought about being purposeful and making the moments count. I thought about my dirty house. I thought about all the people I would love to call or visit or reach out to in some way. I prayed for God's direction and energy but just felt overwhelmed and paralyzed and pretty much wanted to crawl back in bed with a good piece of fiction and not be a mommy (which is why I needed to pray!!).

The last couple weeks of Charlotte teething and sleeping restlessly and everything being a battle with "No-girl" Natalie has left me feeling drained and a bit of a failure. Sometimes I'm handling it great, being patient, riding it out and keeping perspective. But many other times I am over-analyzing my every interaction with them, getting impatient, feeling horribly guilty, feeling discouraged, feeling discontent, not getting enough time with God, etc.

SO after that desperate breakfast prayer for energy and direction, I asked Natalie if she would like to paint. She promptly responded, "Ya wanna paint scenery like in the you give a moose a muffin book? Ya wanna make sock puppets?"

"That's a great idea!" I replied and set off to collect supplies (I'd actually been thinking sock puppets would be fun to do sometime since we read this book recently.)

It was the perfect thing to snap me out of my funk and gave us something positive to do together. It was also a good reminder that although my feelings have value, I don't need to let them rule my day or dictate my mood--indeed, I can't as a mom. A lot of days you just have to forge ahead and do the next thing and trust God for the feelings to follow in the wake of your willful obedience. This is VERY MUCH against my natural tendency to wallow in it (just ask my stoic, anti-feelings hubby). :) Yet another way motherhood is so good for me.

So I'm thankful for sock puppets and the other little ways God has brought encouragement when I've needed it these past couple of weeks. Just when I don't think I can face another day on the other side of the covers, He always comes through.

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2Corinthians 12:9

I'm not sure why my daughter did this. Perhaps it's best that I don't know.

Today I came across this verse:

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 1:22

Beth Moore points out the Greek word translated "deeply" means from within the heart. Who is in our hearts? The Holy Spirit. So that is where this amazing love has to come from. A good reminder of where I'll get the strength to love my "No Girl" right where she is and to channel that No where it belongs and encourage her to say "Yes" to Jesus.

So I've been busy wiping noses, holding Charlotte, and well...pretty much those two things! ha ha

I think sometimes weeks go by without me posting because I'm waiting for that extended and uninterrupted time where I can pour out my soul in a long and involved entry. So you know how often that happens :) I've decided I need to reset my expectations (story of my life!!) and just do little blurbs when the inspiration and opportunity strikes.

So blurb for today is a great thing I found since the retreat I went on...Beth Moore has a website where you can listen to her Bible studies. I'm sooooo pumped about this because I really do crave the Word but have been feeling so discouraged about minimal time to do dig into it. With these I can turn on the computer and listen even if I'm holding Charlotte for a nap and my hands are not free to flip through my Bible or write. I am not naturally an auditory learner, but God can work through anything. I just love Beth's teaching, and I'm really excited to utilize this resource. Check it out!

And in closing, I'm feeling proud that I got all my bushes pruned while Charlotte took a snugly nap and Natalie played. We followed the bush "haircut" with some jumps in last fall's leaves, and it was so so good to be outside and be warm and uncover some green poking up through and watch Natalie in her element. My grape hyacinth survived the winter. Thanks Doreen! I hope we do the perennial swap again this year.

When I first heard about the women's retreat at our church, the lunatic who lives in the back of my head started whispering: I'll bet Shannon wants to go to that. Maybe you should offer to watch the girls. Normally, I try to indulge the little crazy imp knowing that if I didn't, he'd fill my head with a long-forgotten commercial jingle or annoying 80s song. Okay, that last sentence proves that maybe I've been reading a bit too much James Lileks, but it describes what I felt at the time.

Seriously, though, when I told Shan that I thought she should go, it was clear the thought I had was not from any sort of internal lunatic but from God because her thought was that she wanted to go, but I was the one who had to mention it. So it's clear God wanted her to be there, but she's probably going to write about that.

Until this weekend, I had never been alone with the girls for more than a few hours when she was at work. Understandably, the thought of it was nerve-wracking. As it turns out, my fears were unfounded. Although all three of us were sick, the weekend was not as bad as I feared. Hard, but not horrible. The girls and I spent the weekend watching movies, playing games, coloring and eating dad-friendly foods like pizza and chips. Maybe I didn't get as much sleep or free time as I would have in a normal weekend, but I did have a lot of fun with my girls. However...

As the picture above shows, it wasn't all fun. That was taken Saturday night at around midnight. Natalie woke up in pain from coughing and Charlotte was sneezing and needed comfort so we all went downstairs. After medicine had been administered and a few minutes of "Beauty and the Beast" had been watched, the girls quickly fell asleep. I took the picture for two reasons: one, I thought it would be funny. Two, I wanted to remember the moment because it made me thankful for both my wife and my parents.

My wife, because she's normally the one who comforts the girls when they're sick and stays up so I can sleep to be rested for work. And my parents, because sitting with my girls made me realize just how many times they probably did the same for my siblings and I when we were sick. As I sat there wishing I could reach the television remote, I also realized that parenthood, for all its difficulties, really is rewarding and humbling.

Yes, these two little people were counting on me to meet their needs for physical and emotional comfort and that was draining. But at the same time, it really hit me anew that these two little girls trusted that I could and would provide that comfort. That realization caused me then and causes me always to seek the strength that I draw upon - it made me thankful for my own heavenly Father who has enough strength not only to take my burdens, but to give me strength to handle the burdens my daughters place upon me.

For that reason, I'm glad Shannon had the chance to go away for the weekend. The retreat gave both of us a glimpse into the nature of God, and for that I'm thankful.

The last month or so has been a challenging one with my youngest. She has had way worse separation anxiety than Natalie ever had. To put it more positively, she is my biggest fan. :) It's nice to be loved, but Mommy has also gotten to the point of feeling like if her little darling is clinging to her (pulling her hair, pinching her, scratching her) for one more second she might implode!

In anyone else's arms, she panics and strains for me, urgency written all over her face, heartbroken and betrayed sobs coming from her mouth.

Speaking of the mouth, she's also been teething like there's no tomorrow. I was checking to see if her fourth tooth had emerged yesterday, and discovered a fifth just under the surface! Holy cow child! That's five in about a month and a half. No wonder she can't self-soothe for beans and is in general needy and sapping her parents of all energy.

But at the same time she is so sweet and doing lots of fun stuff like sitting up on her own, crawling, eating, and waving. I've found in my experience as a mommy thus far that this often the case for babies. The wonderful and fun new developments come with crankiness and sleepless nights. I guess it's the same for us when we're going through change as adults, really. When I'm experiencing new things and feeling insecure, I lose all my ability to self-soothe too--just ask Peter :) I'm so thankful that God is more patient with me than I am with Charlotte when He gives me a new task or challenges me in a new way. I certainly can get cranky and needy at those times.

So as I give extra snuggles (and consider just getting Charlotte surgically attached to me for convenience sake) these days, I try to listen to the Holy Spirit's whisperings:

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:34-40

During our courtship and engagement, my husband, Ted, had expressed his affection with homemade cards, roses, and words that made my heart flutter. In fact, he verged on poetic. But once we got married, after two babies in two years, he was too busy putting together swings, heating up bottles, and installing car seats in our newly purchased minivan even to think about romantic gestures.

Now my mind began to concoct other reasons for my husband's lack of romance. Could it be I'd become boring? Unattractive? Did he see me only as the mother of his children, not the love of his life? Perhaps my sweatpants and ponytail weren't as alluring as I'd thought.

I spent a few days brooding in unhappiness and doubt. Until the clouds parted and I had a revelation. Mr. Darcy won Elizabeth's heart not with flowery words, but with actions. He salvaged her family's name and gave the encouragement that led to her sister's engagement, and it was the very living out of his love that brought Elizabeth to admit her true feelings for him. This is exactly how my husband goes about winning my heart day in and day out: with his actions. Maybe he wasn't so different from Mr. Darcy after all.

I started to pay attention to the evidence of my husband's love. It was in a fridge full of Starbuck's mocha frappucinos. In the way he gave up his daily newspaper reading to watch our girls so I could find time to shower. In surprising me with a book by my favorite author. In painting the house so that color fills my day. It's in these displays of unselfishness, in the laying down of his wants and desires in order to bless me, that I see his love.

Between all of life's responsibilities, there's not much time for what society defines as "love" and "romance." Not a lot of candlelight dinners for two, spur-of-the-moment romantic getaways, and long walks happen when a married couple is busy with life--especially if they're also parenting little ones. That breathless newlywed excitement fades as diapers, meals, and bath times take over. Love has met the reality of ordinary days. But it's through these ordinary days that love is lived out in a much more authentic manner.

This past Valentine's Day I felt like a young bride again when my husband had a dozen roses and a box of chocolate delivered to my door. But in all honesty, I've come to realize that isn't where I see his love most clearly. It's his practical, daily displays of service and selflessness that mirror the Mr. Darcy who abandoned his place in society to better Elizabeth's world.

And in that, my heart is captivated far beyond the power of words.

But that's not to say a girl doesn't like an honest-to-goodness, out-of-the-house date now and then. :) And next Saturday night I'm putting on my "big girl clothes," we're heading to The Muddy Rudder, then on to jazz by our dear friend Sonja. May you all have a lovely Valentine's Day, however you should choose to spend it.

Ok, Amy, don't see this as any attempt to "one-up" you, but I thought it was such a cool idea to put Kaden's artwork up, and Natalie has really been doing some amazing drawings lately. Here are two bears she drew yesterday. I love how huge the paws are and how she drew claws too. And the vantage point is like she's looking up at them. In her words they are "bears like in your jungle movie" a.k.a. Baloo in The Jungle Book. I love this kid.