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May 19, 2009
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures
Yesterday my fatigue and the dreary weather combined to make me feel pretty aimless and blah at the start of the day. My brain swam with potential ways to spend the day. I thought about being purposeful and making the moments count. I thought about my dirty house. I thought about all the people I would love to call or visit or reach out to in some way. I prayed for God's direction and energy but just felt overwhelmed and paralyzed and pretty much wanted to crawl back in bed with a good piece of fiction and not be a mommy (which is why I needed to pray!!).
The last couple weeks of Charlotte teething and sleeping restlessly and everything being a battle with "No-girl" Natalie has left me feeling drained and a bit of a failure. Sometimes I'm handling it great, being patient, riding it out and keeping perspective. But many other times I am over-analyzing my every interaction with them, getting impatient, feeling horribly guilty, feeling discouraged, feeling discontent, not getting enough time with God, etc.
SO after that desperate breakfast prayer for energy and direction, I asked Natalie if she would like to paint. She promptly responded, "Ya wanna paint scenery like in the you give a moose a muffin book? Ya wanna make sock puppets?"
"That's a great idea!" I replied and set off to collect supplies (I'd actually been thinking sock puppets would be fun to do sometime since we read this book recently.)
It was the perfect thing to snap me out of my funk and gave us something positive to do together. It was also a good reminder that although my feelings have value, I don't need to let them rule my day or dictate my mood--indeed, I can't as a mom. A lot of days you just have to forge ahead and do the next thing and trust God for the feelings to follow in the wake of your willful obedience. This is VERY MUCH against my natural tendency to wallow in it (just ask my stoic, anti-feelings hubby). :) Yet another way motherhood is so good for me.
So I'm thankful for sock puppets and the other little ways God has brought encouragement when I've needed it these past couple of weeks. Just when I don't think I can face another day on the other side of the covers, He always comes through.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2Corinthians 12:9
Posted by Shannon at May 19, 2009 09:20 PM
Comments
Oh Shan...I understand your funk! your feelings! and you're desire to stay beneath the covers! But you are the furthest thing from a failure. You are an amazing mommy and woman of God. You're insights are wonderful and so encouraging to me!
Posted by: Sarah at May 20, 2009 08:58 PM
jumbo entry you've hold
Posted by: Nida Askari at December 5, 2010 11:44 PM