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January 21, 2009

Understanding God's Joy

I put Charlotte down in her crib and head back downstairs to help Natalie finish up her lunch. Charlotte fusses for awhile, nothing serious, and is beginning to quiet on her own. Yay! As we go upstairs I explain to Natalie that we need to be "sneaky, quiet girls" to help Charlotte stay asleep. Charlotte wimpers a bit as we arrive upstairs. I get Natalie settled on the potty to try to pee and peak in on the younger thinking I'll slip her paci in and she'll be off to dreamland. Not so much.

From the bathroom I hear, "Ya wanna Mutti M!!" at top volume. Charlotte's eyes pop open and the wimper becomes a scream. Resist urge to throw toddler out the window. Calm the younger as best I can. With the aid of the Holy Spirit calmly go into the bathroom to deal with elder. "What did you need my love?" (through gritted teeth). Explain (again) that we do not do Mutti Ms (M&Ms) unless she pees or poops in the potty. She accepts this well because she knew what the answer would be anyway and was just asking out of reflex :). Get her rediapered. About to lift her into her crib for naptime,and--"Ya want ya jammies!!"

"No, Mommy needs to go help Charlotte (who is still screaming) because your yelling woke her up, your clothes are still ok."

Some protest and negotiation--"Ya want ya jammies over ya clothes!?"

"Ok, if you are quiet while mommy helps Charlotte, when I'm done I'll give you jammies to put on over your clothes."

Into the crib. Tucked in. Love you. Kisses.

"Ya want Snowy Day?!"

I hand over Curious George and the Snowy Day for naptime reading. Turn on sleepy songs. Back to the younger who by this time is frothing at the mouth. Have to pick her up. Take a deep breath and put her on my chest and lie down. She's way beyond the self-soothing window at this point. She instantly closes her eyes but takes another 5 to 10 minutes of complaining and hitching before she gets over the "trauma" and crashes. My sweet emotional girl. She melts down and gets sucked into the vortex of her feelings as bad as her mommy I'm afraid. I say a prayer for this part of her personality as I pat her butt and then finally transfer her successfully to her crib and head downstairs to write this post.

Good thing I read this last night as I finished the best parenting book ever:

...the young mother feels great surprise to discover that her act of welcoming this child into the world is the very act so highly regarded by Jesus at the judgment:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me. Matthew 25:35-36

Who gets hungrier than a newly awakened baby, eagerly searching out her mother's breasts? Who is more naked than a recently born child? Who is more a stranger than an infant who comes into this world knowing no one? Who gets sick more often than a little one, who seems inclined toward ear infections, diaper rash, and colic?

When a mother welcomes a child into the world, feeding her and giving her drink and clothing her and holding her when she gets sick, she is doing exactly what Jesus tells us will be most rewarded in heaven.

"But how can caring for your own child result in a heavenly reward?" some might ask. "Surely Jesus didn't mean that, did he?"

People who ask such a question don't understand that the children we raise, ultimately speaking, are not ours. God creates each child, and he has such a deep, passionate love for every boy and girl that he never misses a single event in their life: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40).

Understanding God's joy in his own creation is one of the more profound spiritual experiences we will ever know. ...it certainly affected the way I look at children, particularly with regard to how God remains so passionately concerned about them. Any time we can bring them joy, we bring a smile to God's face. And any time we violate their innocence, we earn a fierce enemy: "If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).

Mothers and fathers, when you give your tiny infant a bath, you are washing God's baby. Pause a moment in your busy day and look up to heaven. When you minister to that youngster, can you imagine God smiling down at you? When you fix that hungry six-year-old a peanut butter sandwich, you are feeding one of God's children. Listen carefully--you may hear God laughing in pleasure. When you hug an adolescent whom others have teased mercilessly at school, you are comforting God's teenager. Are those God's tears dampening your shoulder?

In the process of caring and loving, you bring God great pleasure. At that very moment you become his provision, his comfort, his passion. Learn to swim in that joy, and you will never look at parenting the same way again.

You could have rejected this child. You could have spurned the demands on your time, your resources, and your emotional well-being. But instead you accepted this child, through great pain you gave birth to this child, and with even greater pain you make daily sacrifices to love this child. Your heavenly Father doesn't miss a second of this sacrifice. He sees it all. He cries with you and he laughs with you and he takes great joy in the good work you are doing.

...Whether we are parents or not, we have incredible opportunity to participate in this passion that God has for children. I'm sure God is present in the sanctuary of a church... But if we really want to live in the presence of God, we may want to hang out at the playground, Sunday school rooms, and nursery.

There is no way God is missing what is going on there.

Sacred Parenting, by Gary Thomas

I know this was a long one, but I have been so touched by this book and impacted by this concept. It's not at all a "how-to," just a book about how God shapes us with our kids. This section brought tears to my eyes and conviction to my heart last night as Charlotte was having yet another difficult evening and she and Natalie kept waking each other up and Peter and I couldn't really have a conversation until 9 o'clock. (Hello, I'm your wife Shannon, nice to meet you...:) ).

I really want to try more to consciously remember to treat my girls (and husband) like the children of God they are. Not grudgingly but joyfully...to really care for them as I would care for Jesus.

God's also been reminding me that he is my partner in this endeavor and understands so well what it is to sacrifice and be tired. Often when I feel convicted as a Mom, I tend to hear his voice in my head as more patronizing, "Now Shannon, I never sleep. I'm always patient with you. I gave myself for you. Don't you think you can for your girls?" I then feel guilty and tend to rake myself over the coals and pray that I can "do better next time." My attitude is like a daughter trying to earn her father's favor and feeling she has horribly disappointed him.

But Thomas reminds me that this is very faulty thinking.

Jesus has been there. He knows exactly how [I'm] feeling and invites [me] to turn this difficult moment of sacrifice into a profound place of intimacy and understanding with him. He knows what it feels like to need some time alone, some time to get refreshed and renewed, only to have that time stolen by the reality of tending to the needs of others.

I leave you with Philippians 2:1-12:

"Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

Posted by Shannon at January 21, 2009 12:39 PM

Comments

Posted by: kevame@verizon.net at January 21, 2009 02:54 PM

Posted by: Sarah at January 21, 2009 04:16 PM

Posted by: Cheryl at January 29, 2009 07:09 PM

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