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June 04, 2008
Baby Day Approaches...Maybe Sooner Than We Think
So on Monday we found out that baby may be joining us sooner than we thought. I was 3 centimeters (10 means baby coming out for you boys out there)dilated and belly had grown 3 weeks worth in 2. Debbie brought up the possibility of inducing me in the next few weeks if things continue to progress. She remembers that I made a 9-pounder the first time and wants to spare me a 10-pounder, for which I am grateful.
But the idea of induction is a bit hard for this natural-birth-lovin'- slight-hippy girl to swallow. I tend to have a vision in my mind of how things are going to be (surprise, surprise to those who know me), and when that vision is threatened I don't do well, just ask Peter :) I'm also a rather opinionated nurse who's heard and read far too many scary things about induction, but I recognize my need to not be too rigid and keep an open mind.
I suppose it's better than ending up with a c-section or a lot more pain, and Debbie assures me it's a little more sophisticated than it once was and would just simply help my body along in a process that is well on its way. Most women would probably jump at the chance to go early and choose their baby's birthday. Still, tough for this girl to adjust her expectations.
I find my feelings are mixed as the big day approaches. Most of the pregnancy I've felt fairly relaxed and confident, having walked this path before. But lately I've been having more pre-birth jitters because I know what is coming. It's hard to shake and is often coupled with fears about the transition to handling two. At the same time, I completely look forward to this.
So at night when I'm tossing and turning and getting up to pee, I'm trying to turn these thoughts and feelings over to the Lord and also spend the time bringing other things before Him besides my own selfish stuff--things we sometimes don't have time to talk about in the course of a day with a 2-year-old. He's been really faithful in the last 24 hours to bring to mind verses to remind me of how I can trust Him and have peace. And then this morning, Amy had such a sweet post for her pregnant friends...and the words to In Christ Alone hit me from the Ipod at lunchtime...
"In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all— Here in the love of Christ I stand."
This song also is good reminder of the grander scheme--Christ's sacrifice for us, the relationship that we have in Him--I mean, really, what's a few labor pains, adjustment to a second child, or an unexpected birth plan? It always amazes me what my brain can selfishly get stuck on when there are MUCH bigger things at stake in the world. And He is big enough for all of it.
Posted by Shannon at June 4, 2008 08:59 AM
Comments
Oh Sweetie - I so hear you and understand what you are thinking and feeling right now. I totally, totally understand EXACTLY right where you are at. You are processing so well and putting things in the perspective you need to. And I don't need to tell you that in the grand scheme - you'll have a gorgeous baby in your arms soon, so matter the method that they entered into the world. And your midwife sounds like she's awesome, too. Such a trust and faith walk, isn't it? His ways are so often not our ways, but there is NO better way than His. I love you, my dear friend. You rock! AND you're pretty much AWESOME! AND you are a FANTASTIC Mommy. And your babies are blessed to have you! Keep us posted. Much love. We are praying....
Posted by: kevame@verizon.net at June 4, 2008 03:57 PM
I love all your new posts! The pictures of Natalie are grreat! I hear you with the potential change in birth plan as I have the same feelings that you do about induction and natural birth and I have the same tendency of resistance to a change from what I had in visioned. I will pray for early natural labor for you!
You got me thinking about co-sleepers that shopping day and then my mom suggested them to me and so I looked into it and decided that was the way to go. I was so excited that someone had the exact color and style on Craigs list. So neat that craigslist had one for the both of us!
You'll have to tell me how you like it. And I've been dying to pick your brain about many pregnancy related things...mostly birth. But maybe we'll have those conversations AFTER you have this one, so as not to relive the details before you give birth again :) Love to you guys!
Posted by: sarah at June 4, 2008 04:45 PM
I'll be praying for you friend. I hope that God will move things along naturally so that you don't have to be induced. Oh, and don't forget Amy's advice ; )
Posted by: Esther at June 4, 2008 06:03 PM
Yeeeees.....my "advice!" I swear by it....at least it worked quite nicely for #2 me-thinks!
Posted by: kevame@verizon.net at June 5, 2008 01:57 PM
Oh girlies...you are too funny...I'm workin' on it :)
Posted by: Shannon at June 5, 2008 09:15 PM
I’d have to permit with you one this subject. Which is not something I typically do! I really like reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!
Posted by: Jesus Hodosy at December 5, 2010 11:40 PM