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May 25, 2008
Oh, Crap!
The title isn't hyperbole. It's the subject of this post.
This afternoon, my wife worked a short shift at work so I put our daughter down for her nap. She was restless, but that's pretty normal so I just let her be. Her babbling went on for about half an hour, then I heard her pacifier fall to the floor. Since that sound is usually followed by crying, I figured I'd head up and see what was wrong.
Before I describe what I saw, allow me to provide some needed context. Lately, my daughter has been in the habit of stripping off her clothes and her diaper while in the crib. Usually, this leads to nothing more than a wet diaper and a cold child. Needless to say, today was different.
Unpleasantly different.
As the title of the post implies, this diaper was not wet. And what was there had been spread on the pillow, the sheet, the crib railing and her hand. When my daughter saw me come into the room, she looked at her hand, then up at me with a thoroughly disgusted look on her face, a look I'm sure I matched when I saw what had happened.
The next few minutes were a blur, but that might be due to the fact that I was holding my breath as much as possible. She got an early bath, everything in her crib was thrown into the washing machine and I scrubbed my hands until they were red.
My only consolation is the knowledge that I can (and will) tell this story to her future boyfriends.
Posted by slublog at May 25, 2008 09:25 PM
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Comments
You should train her to use the box like my cat does.
Posted by: harrison at May 25, 2008 10:14 PM
You're an evil man.
Posted by: Dan Pete at May 25, 2008 10:35 PM
Evil? But...it was awful.
Posted by: Slublog at May 25, 2008 10:36 PM
My only consolation is the knowledge that I can (and will) tell this story to her future boyfriends.
Didn't you take any pictures?
Posted by: Sean M. at May 26, 2008 05:58 AM
Did you know that feces makes a great window cleaner? My daughter would tell you so.
Posted by: MainiacJoe at May 26, 2008 09:39 AM
There was a period where we used to duct tape my daughter's diapers for this very reason. I had forgotten all about it until I read this post. (She's 18 now.) Thanks for the reminder, I'm going to just rake her over the coals for it in front of her friends later today. Cold vengeance, indeed!
Posted by: Laura at May 26, 2008 02:32 PM
test
Posted by: Anwyn at May 26, 2008 11:02 PM
Oh, Slu ... *how* old is your daughter? How is it that you haven't had to deal with poop that up-close and personal before now?
I guess I should be more sympathetic ... I will, when I stop laughing.
Posted by: Anwyn at May 26, 2008 11:02 PM
Dealing with poop in diapers is one thing...as a room decoration, though?
Blech.
Posted by: Slublog at May 27, 2008 09:04 AM
Slu,
you have scared me twice over.
Laura, which brand of duct tape would you recommend?
Posted by: Tushar at May 29, 2008 03:57 PM