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July 08, 2007
Me Vs. Nature
We're back from our weekend. When we got back, an unpleasant surprise greeted us - something had gotten into the garden and eaten the tops of all of our pea plants and lettuce. Bummer. After fixing the fence, we walked back into the house. At that moment, a groundhog came out from behind our barn and started sniffing around the garden. He was unable to breach our new-ish defenses (turns out the fence was upside down) and ran when he saw us.
Later, I went behind the barn to investigate. I kicked at some boards near the base and...ARG! A little head poked out from behind a board, made a horrible hellish screeching noise and then bared its teeth and breathed fire. Did I mention that it had red eyes?
Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. It squeaked and ran after I scared it with my own girlish screech of fear. I ran backwards faster than I can run forward and was speechless for a few minutes. Eventually, I started laughing and re-examined the back of the barn. Turns out there's no hole in the barn, but there is a small crawlspace between the barn's foundation and some plywood at the base. Looks as though I've got my work cut out for me next weekend.
First thing I did, though, was boil up a witch's brew of red pepper flakes, powdered cayenne pepper, Tabasco sauce and some Frank's Red Hot. I filtered out the solids, put it in a spray bottle and covered the perimeter of the garden. Take that, demonic hog of the ground!
I hate nature.
Update - Heh. If this groundhog chews up a few more plants, I may enter Bill Murray territory. Thanks to my brother for the clip.
Posted by slublog at July 8, 2007 07:44 PM
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Comments
This would be a good time to take advantage of that concealed weapons permit and make use of that dipping sauce.
Posted by: Anonymous at July 8, 2007 08:32 PM
I don't know if you ever met my high school friend Trond, Peter. If not you missed out. Anyway, he had a dog that killed three groundhogs in one summer. This is more a story about groundhogs' stupidity than the dog's prowess, though, because the dog was on a chain each time.
Posted by: MainiacJoe at July 8, 2007 09:00 PM
I was gonna say, get a cheapo 22 or something and plink the little bastard. Or borrow one if you don't wanna own one.
Posted by: Sinistar at July 8, 2007 11:45 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etpHKueh6S0
Posted by: coldmexican at July 9, 2007 12:28 AM
Hubby has been killing rabbits and woodchucks for me with just a good pellet gun.
It works. We find bodies.
Nothing but shooting or trapping is really all that effective against woodchucks.
Posted by: lauraw at July 9, 2007 12:52 PM
I concur that lead poisoning is the best way to rid yourself of unwanted varmints. .22s are cheap and effective as the skunks and possums that like to feast on our cat food have found out.
Posted by: Mr Minority at July 9, 2007 01:27 PM
Some animals cannot taste "hot" peppers and it won't affect them. I know that in Indonesia farmers even feed peppers to their cows with no ill effects.
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